Not far, as it turns out

We only got as far as the back garden today. It's nice playing at home and the boys enjoy the freedom to do whatever they want to do. The only trouble is that when I tell them it's bedtime they have a horrible feeling of having achieved nothing with their day and I am scowled at by three very dirty faces, who all think that it's my fault the day hasn't been better. They're so funny. They've had a ball, playing with their friend across the back, digging, making potions, trading football cards, playing a gigantic game of cars in the dirt and generally being fun and adventurous and creative boys, but because we haven't spent any money or been anywhere, they think the weekend's a failure; whereas I think it's a huge success. 

James is the scowliest. Some days he tells me that he hates me. He says it with a smile, but he really means it. He says it to shock me, but it never does.

They won't be with me next weekend, so I'm glad it was so nice today and yesterday. When we're at home I don't see much of James and Thomas now because they play at Oliver's whenever they can. But Matthew tends to get bored there, and he comes back to help me make tea or just chat to me. Today he chatted to me as he made me some pictures and secret notes, and while he pruned the acers with my craft cutters, and pulled dandelions out of the patio. He's amazing. He's so great at pottering and finding things to do. There's a big brain in that little head, and it's so fascinating watching it develop. I'm looking forward to seeing what he does with it. I'm looking forward to seeing what they all do, because I'm sure they will each do very different things. Thomas is outdoorsy. James is ... hmm, I don't know ... James is just good at everything he tries, but he's very interested in music and dancing.  He has good rhythm and a good ear. I think that Thomas will do something creative, but I can't tell what. Something combining creativity and being outside. I said this to him and he looked happy with it and said 'yeah, I know, I'm going to be an outside artist'. Mmm. Well, why not.

This is what's happening round our way :)

Linda is feeling rather tearful quite a lot because she misses James so much.  She doesn't want to moan about it because she knows she's been lucky to be able to stay at home with the little fella these past four years, but it's all gone far too quickly and it feels like he's all but left home already.  Of course, Matthew's still at home for another two years, and that helps.  Linda's throwing herself into playing Lego and Happyland and alsorts of things with the titchy kid, and both she and he are having tremendous fun.  But Linda still can't help but be teary after James has gone to school in the mornings.  She thinks she's finding it harder with James than she did with Thomas, though she's not sure why.  She'll get over it though.  She's looking forward to two things: 1) James bringing home some homework so that she will be forced to make some time to sit with him before tea; 2) the half term holiday, when she can have all three of her precious babbaloos around her for a whole week :)

Kev is feeling a bit down because he's had to go back to work after such a lovely holiday and Noomski-stag-do.  Linda knows how lucky she is that she wasn't the one who had to go back to work.  Poor Kev.  Wouldn't it be better if money, as a whole concept, didn't exist, and if we could just share everything freely and fairly and everyone could have enough food and water, clothing and shelter, and we could just spend all our time growing food, pursuing happiness and learning and achieving great things.  Utopia.  Linda's utopia anyway - not everyone's, certainly!  (Who thinks that the word 'utopia' should actually be spelled 'eutopia'?  Not for any intelligent or credible reason - just because it looks nicer.  I do.)

Thomas is reading a chapter of his school library book to Linda every day, and improvements are very noticeable daily.  By the half term holidays, Linda is certain that Thomas will be just whizzing through his school books.  She has inspired him to read by showing him her copies of 'Harry Potter ...' and the Narnia Chronicles.  (She will allow him to read them, she's not just taunting him with her closed copies, only in readiness to whip them away from his hungry eyes once he reaches the required reading speed.)
Unfortunately there aren't enough hours in the day to work on his reading and his maths, so maths has to wait until the weekend.  Linda wonders how she will manage to find time to help three with homework. And go out to work.  Linda knows that working mums are incredible if they manage to find time for their kiddies!

James has breezed into school, with not a single tear, and has made LOTS of friends already.  Who knew that settling into the big world of school could be so easy.  Fantastic!  Heartbreakiness aside, Linda is incredibly proud.  She is looking forward to the Macmillan coffee morning tomorrow, when she will get to see James (and Thomas) at school.

And finally, Matthew.  Linda is working on the little monkey's naughtiness.  He really doesn't give a sod what anyone thinks of him, he will just try his damnedest to do whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it.  Very naughty boy!  But since James went to school Linda has been spending better time with her tiniest son, and has seen improvements already.  She is very confident that she will be able to sort out this wee devil's behaviour before he goes to school in two years - and if she doesn't, well, never mind, he's so bloody cute that no-one will mind!

Linda now has to get ready for Barbados - oh dear, what a terrible shame for her that she is being forced to go to the Caribbean.  She doesn't know what she's done to deserve such a punishment.

:)

Oh God!  She still hasn't written her speech - must get that done!

A new relationship

Nothing much to write about this morning really. Life is just plodding on lovelily, as it usually does. Nice Monday morning, getting the kids ready for the start of a new week, and planning in my head what needs to be done around here (knowing full well that almost all of it will not get done - but who cares, we're having fun, and that's always more important than keeping a tidy house, yes?!).

This weekend the boys stayed over at my mum's. Usually when they come back, I'm evil to say it, but I feel like it would have been nice if they could have stayed over two nights - to give me chance to miss them, of course! I just have no problem at all with being away from them. I've never been one to fret over them when I've gone out for the evening, or when they've gone out for the day with a grandparent. I don't know whether it's done them any particular good, me being that way - they've all still had their clingy phases, and Matthew is in the middle of one now. Actually he's been in the middle of this clingy phase for almost a year now :D Maybe we're getting near the end of it. But anyway, clingy or not, I'm always perfectly happy for someone else to look after them, so that I can do my own thing. I'm incredibly selfish that way. But what can I do? Nothing. I'm happy to be selfish.

And it was nice again this weekend. I was just very lazy while they were with my mum. Usually I get on with some writing, or get some jobs done, but I just couldn't be bothered to do anything this time. I just read, and ate rubbish for most of Saturday. I actually wandered round the house a little bit, looking for something to entertain me! I might possible have been ... bored! A strange and new kind of feeling for me, one that I haven't felt for years. I didn't really like it. I don't plan on feeling bored again, ever.

But I did say that this weekend was nice! Well, it was. And what was nice about it - apart from watching the football with Kev, Noomski and Jessica (who didn't watch much, because she hasn't much interest in it, lol) in the pub - was that I was quite overwhelmed with tremendous joy and happiness when the boys came home on Sunday morning :D Matthew and James came right up and gave me the biggest, squeeziest hugs, and Matthew told me that he'd missed me. It was gorgeous. Thomas wasn't to be outdone, and he leapt onto my knee and wrapped himself around me, in his leggy way, like some kind of giant spider monkey, and squeezed me until I couldn't really breathe. Ace.

I think it's got something to do with the fact that I've stopped shouting at them so much. I've chilled out again, at last. Hope it's permanent. My poor kids, they do suffer the fallout of my bad moods quite a lot. People think I'm laid back and relaxed all the time. Ha ha! It's just a facade, and I've always saved the tyrannical telling offs for home, when the windows are closed so that the neighbours can't hear me screaming blue murder!! But I've been thinking that it's perhaps a bit much to expect absolutely perfect behaviour all the time from three energetic little boys who have so much that they need to say every minute of the day, and so much playing to do, and so many arguments about Playmobil to resolve amongst themselves. On Friday I realised just how GOOD my children really are. I've always suspected that they're quite good, but had it confirmed when we had one of Thomas's friends over for tea. And while he wasn't actually naughty - he surprised me by actually being very good, and having beautiful manners - his playing was like nothing my boys have experienced before (Thomas experiences it at school in the playground, of course - but never in our house). It was ALL about fighting. It was all about fighting, and not pulling punches! It was all about getting people to fall over and hurt themselves. It was all about laughing at someone else's discomfort or pain. I did just let them get on with it, because to a certain extent I could see that it was good for my boys to experience playing with someone much rougher than themselves - they do have a tendency to be a bit ... soft, shall we say?! So, I didn't like the way this particular little boy played, but I couldn't tell him off because he never actually did anything naughty. The fighting was consensual, and my boys lapped it up, enjoying the freedom to burn off all their energy, all laughing hysterically. Laughing hysterically, except when they were crying because it had gotten that bit too rough and someone got hurt - which happened several times. But next time - yes, I will allow there to be a next time, I must be crazy - I'm taking more control of the play. We're going to do some creative stuff when he comes again, and teach this little boy that fighting is not the only way to have fun. We did a little bit of drawing with him, and he was absolutely thrilled, so I'm hopeful that we'll be able to have a calmer time next time he's with us.

So. Nothing else to say today :) Have a good one.

Life is beautiful ... but I wouldn't read this post if I were you, Mum!

It might be boring to read about, but our lives, at the moment, are just plodding along in a nice sort of way. Being happy doesn't tend to involve too much drama at times, and quite often there's nothing really to write about except a few nice things have happened in the day. So sorry about that! Just more dull photos of my garden, and my kids :)

The days are mostly about the garden at the moment, because we're in it all the time. The boys are really enjoying getting to do a bit of digging and planting (because I can't stay away from the garden centre at the moment - really have to stop buying, else I'm going to be going to Barbados in rags, and my children will be eating beans on toast for tea from now until Christmas; but at least they'll have a pretty garden to look at while they're eating!)

We were planting out the new bedding plants that I bought yesterday (erm, let me see, verbena, dianthus, lobelia, and ... something else; acanthus? Not sure), and we literally stumbled upon this little nest of spiders! Now, I am getting better and better all the time with creepy crawlies. At one time, not very long ago at all, I would run screaming from any sign of a spider, and I would certainly be very nervous about going into the garden when I knew it was big spider time. But I've been working on desensitising myself, because I absolutely will not allow my phobia to be passed onto my children if I can help it at all. So I've been allowing myself to be exposed to spiders to a small degree. I'm now very good at leaving them alone whenever they appear from under the couch in the living room - as long as I can see that they've skittered away to a nice dark and cool corner away from me, I can carry on with whatever I was doing without giving them a second thought. I can now also go to sleep if there's a little one on the ceiling of my room. And I can do the thing with the glass and the card if I need to remove one from the house. Still no go with moths, butterflies and crane flies - not sure I can ever get over those irrational, hysterical fears. I had the heeby-jeebies at Wildlife Oasis a few weeks ago because I had to walk past their enormous moth. I hyperventilated. Silly cow! It's very annoying, but I can't help it.

But anyway, here's the nest of spiders, which I can very happily look at - I even think they're cute :) They cluster together in a tight little spider bundle (for warmth, protection, what?), and when you agitate the grass next to them they instantly spread out, scurrying in all directions and looking as if they've been caught slacking on the job: 'quick, they've seen us having an unauthorised tea break, everyone, back to work!'. There are two little nests: one is right at the edge of the lawn, so they'd better have moved out by the time I need to cut the grass again! And the other is on our astilbe (which is just starting to flower, and is very beautiful, a rich dark pink). Anyway, so, part of the reason I am okay with these baby spiders is that we call them 'Charlotte's Babies', as in Charlotte's Web. And since I think that Charlotte is beautiful - both in the book, and in the film in which Julia Roberts provides the silky voiceover - Charlotte's Babies are also beautiful to me. Not so sure how I will feel when they get much bigger, but I will continue to visit them every day so that I'm not suddenly shocked when I see a garden full of ginormous eight-legged beasts. I absolutely could not kill them, since I know they will deal with the flies for us.

This is our new acer. We've got a thing for acers. They so very, very elegant. I would have a garden full of them if I could afford it. At the moment we have three. Two are in pots, and usually get eaten half to death by black fly before Summer has really arrived. They're not looking too bad this year though. But I thought I'd try planting one out and seeing if it fared better. I want to see how big it will get.

James playing football in the garden. He loves to play football. He's very easy to keep entertained in Spring and Summer :) We are going to let Thomas and James start football training on a Friday evening from September - they're very excited. Matthew will scream the place down because he's not old enough!

My beautiful middle son - who has in no way developed Middle Child Syndrome, I'm very pleased to report! Very happy and secure little boy, as you see. Does have an unfortunate habit of wearing his hat and sunglasses in such a way as to push his ears into a Shrek-like formation though, bless ;)

And just because we like to be fair, here is a picture of Matthew. At about 4am today Matthew woke up, heartbroken and complaining of a sore tummy. Matthew had been sent to bed without tea or pudding, because he had refused to eat anything for an hour. I guessed that he just wasn't particularly hungry yesterday. But he was starving at 4am! Having learnt from last time that he would whimper for the next two and a half hours if I didn't give him a little something, I let him have a piece of dry bread and a drink of water. It was very funny to watch - he kept dropping off with bits of bread sticking out of his mouth, and I had to keep nudging him awake so that he could finish it. I think he will eat his tea tonight though.

Fearless Thomas. Likes to spend quiet moments at the top of the climbing frame. I think he wishes that the climbing frame was a good bit higher, so that he could see over the rooftops. I'd love to take him for a proper scramble up some of the peaks in the Lakes some time.

The garden centre :) Our favourite place at the moment. I remember trips to garden centres being very dull when I was a kid. I don't think we spent a lot of time in them, but I remember the sinking feeling of being doomed to an afternoon of dullness whenever they were mentioned. I don't know why my children love them so much, but I don't think there are many children who will shout out 'yay, garden centre' whenever a trip to one is suggested as a fun way to spend an afternoon. They are actually, genuinely interested in the plants, and ask the names, and feel the leaves, and smell the flowers and the herbs. My kids are a little weird at times - I love that :)

So, that's what's going on here. Not much, same old. But having lots of fun family time. We're hopefully going off for a little camping trip this afternoon, and should be back on Sunday. We might be back tonight if the site is full! I phoned and left a message of enquiry about whether we needed to book, but I've not had a call back yet, so we'll just turn up and hope I think. Could have done with a better night's sleep last night, considering the fact that I don't get much sleep in a tent. But never mind - I'll get sleep next week. Pah! Who needs sleep anyway? Sleeps for wimps!