It's going well so far, but I've lost my words again!

Yep, we've been having a lovely time since school finished. Not doing anything much that's interesting enough to blog about every day really, just playing and relaxing. Not even taking any photos! I know, not like me. But sometimes it's nice to just get on and enjoy your time, rather than missing it in frantic attempts to make a record of everything all the time.

I have lost my words though. I'm well out of practice with any kind of writing. I've been working on a letter to my goodest pal Jamie, and I've not been able to get it finished because I've lost the will to do anything except flob on the couch in the evenings. Well, it's alright to do that for a while, to recharge sort of thing, but I really can't do nothing for the whole holidays.

Flob

Flob can indicate:

• flob, a commonly used metasyntactic variable, usually foundalongside wibble, wobble, and wubble

It's high time I got on with rediscovering my enthusiasm for the written word. I can't remember how to write a thing, and it's really only been a fortnight since I last worked on my book, but it's all gone! I mean, it's still there, obviously, on paper and in files on my computer. But I can't remember what it is that I was doing with the story. It's leaked out of my brain. I'm going to have to try to find it again, otherwise I'm never going to get the bloody thing finished. I left off on a bit of a lull in the story, which is never a good thing to do, because when you go back to it you remember that the bit you were working on was a load of rubbish and it's difficult to pick it up again. But I must crack on - I really want to get it finished very soon. So I'm going to finish off reading a certain (highly demotivating but deliciously vampirey) book that I'm reading, and stop faffing about. And I need to finish it because I have other things waiting in the back of my head that are crying out to be worked on; it took me ages to find my first idea, and I always thought that I'd struggle to think of things to write about, but this has proved not to be the case at all.

It'll be tricky to find time to work over the next few weeks, we have a busy three months really. We go on holiday at the end of this week, and when we come back we have some birthdays, and then Noomski's stag weekend, and then school starts again and James will be getting used to that. Then we have Barbados, and Noomski and Jessica's wedding. I would like to be near the end of the first draft with my book, but I don't know if I can do it. But life doesn't ever stop for books to be written does it?! No, it certainly doesn't. Life happens all the time, every year, so I can't keep making the excuse of being busy, because I'll never get it done.

Procrastination

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxietyassociated with starting or completing any task or decision.^[1] Schraw, Wadkins, and Olafson have proposed three criteria for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.^[2]

Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.

This is quite funny, that procrastination can be put down to stress and anxiety and all that, when in my case (and I would suspect that it applies to lots of people) it's definitely all about laziness. LAMF - that's what I am. I'm not going to translate that little acronym, because it's got swearing in it, but a LAMF is what I am!

Right-o. Got to go. Early night needed, in preparation for another week of fun and frolics :)

Night.

Snip

That should be fine now. I've done it. I've had this fine, fine figurative length of imperceptible scart-type cable* (or perhaps a HDMI**, or possibly USB***, or maybe even more of a Bluetooth**** sort of scenario) connecting my brain and my computer for the past few weeks. The connection is made without my awareness from time to time, quite possibly in a Matrix type of way. I think some race of being with superior intelligence is trying to get me to be on the computer as much as possible, and keeps plugging me in and making me addicted to applications such as Facecloth and *gasp*, Blogger! Perhaps they feed on my brain waves when I'm in the catatonic state that I slide into when the MacBook hums into life.

*SCART (from Syndicat des Constructeurs d'Appareils Radiorécepteurs et Téléviseurs, Radio and Television Receiver Manufacturers' Association) is a French-originated standard and associated 21-pin connector for connecting audio-visual (AV) equipment together

**HDMI (High-Definition Multimedia Interface) is a compact audio/video interface for transmitting uncompressed digital data.

***Universal Serial Bus (USB) is a specification^[1] to establish communication between devices and a host controller (usually personal computers), developed and invented by Ajay Bhatt while working for Intel.

****Bluetooth is an open wireless technology standard for exchanging data over short distances (using short length radio waves) from fixed and mobile devices, creating personal area networks (PANs) with high levels of security.

Anywaaaaaaay...

I'd noticed that I'd been using any feeble excuse, lately, to stick children's telly on and plonk my little 'uns in front of it, just so's I could play on the computer all day. Really, there was no sense in it at all - sitting around, waiting for people to respond to my comments on Facecloth, browsing on various Spend-Money-On-Stuff-You-Don't-Need websites when none of my friends seemed to be online, checking my email every few minutes even though I wasn't expecting any messages. Very silly waste of time. And what the hell was I thinking? My James is now in his last few weeks of being-at-home, and he will be at school very soon. And I was sitting on the computer ignoring him? I could have been spending this time with him, just doing anything we wanted to do, anything at all, not even preparing him for school, just enjoying his company. It's not surprising that he's been so grumpy lately, is it?! Rotten mother I've been.

So, I've done it. And I feel very good, released you might say. Are you wondering what it is that I've done? Is it annoying you that I haven't got to the point yet? Ha! Well, I've done it, as I said. I've cut the tie that has been binding me to the computer. Got a figurative pair of very sharp and very pointy dressmaking scissors (they're always very sharp are dressmaking scissors - they have to be to cut through wriggly fabric), and snipped right through that two-way connection with my beautiful MacBook. I've placated it with a promise to check in with it every evening, and it's agreed to leave me alone during the day. I'm pleased.

I've done this for the sake of all of my boys, not just James, because it's the summer holidays the day after tomorrow, and none of us are going to have a very nice time if I'm constantly thinking about what I could be doing if I didn't have them with me. And I know what I'm like - I can't allow myself five minutes on the computer during the day, because it won't be five minutes, it'll end up being an hour, and then two, and so on... And it's even more important that I don't pick up a book while I'm with the kids - a book for me (my very favourite pastime) equates to a day of dullness for the boys. I become a zombie when I'm reading and they have to shout 'Muuuummmmmmaaaaaaayyyy' right in my face to get my attention, and then they get shouted at for interrupting me, and then they get shouted at for whatever mess they've made while I've been in my literary trance. See, I can be a rubbish mother at times.

This is the biggest bit of preparation I needed for the holidays: putting myself in the right frame of mind for being with Thomas, James and Matthew for the whole of the day, every day. So that's what it is that I've done really. What we actually do together isn't so important, because even if I don't stick to my list of things-to-do-and-places-to-go, it doesn't matter as the boys will have my attention for pretty much the whole holiday. That's the most important thing. Now I'm looking forward to chatting with them, talking complete nonsense, doing some tickling, playing with light-sabres, building with Lego, getting waterproofs on and splashing in puddles (there might well be a lot of that!), possibly some baking, lots of drawing and colouring and painting, maybe a little clay-modelling, definitely some dancing to Chris Evans's expertly spun tunes in the morning, and hopefully some general outdoorsy walking and stuff when the weather gets better. We're going to have a good time, it's all in my hands :)

Plus, an extra special bonus prize - we get Kev back, when this hated overtime finishes!! Yay!

Addendum:

Oh, I almost forgot, Jessica (Noomski's fiance) asked me to write this on my blog (to be read in a Geordie accent):

'Terry is so lucky to have this fantastic woman in his life. Not only does she have beauty, but she has wit and charm on her side, along with the talent of playing a good game of pool,' by Jessica.