Friends, awww

I had something all mushy and gushy to write about friends, but I came home from school and spent the morning by myself and forgot what it was that I was going to say.

I like friends.

Friends are good.

Friends are important.

Sometimes I'm not a good friend, but sometimes I am. Depends.

I'm so much of a loner that I probably come across as being moody with my friends from time to time. I'm sure of that. I know that I snap at people, and that I sigh when I'm obviously thinking that something my friend is saying is ridiculous, even though they're not actually saying anything ridiculous at all, it's just that I'm in a bad mood. It's nothing to do with the friend - it's usually a 'it's not you, it's me' sort of thing. If I feel like I've seen the same person too much (for too much read more than one visit a week that's long enough to have a cup of tea and biscuit) then I sometimes get ratty. If I make plans to see someone more than once in a week I usually enjoy the first visit, but then cancel any subsequent meet-ups, because I'm a cow!

Selfish, you see? I don't like giving up too much of my time. I'm greedy with my time. I like to store it up, selfishly, and use it all completely by myself. I might waste a lot of it, but at least I've spent it by myself and no-one has stolen it from me. It's my time to waste. If I share it with someone, then it becomes half theirs and I don't control it any more.

But then most days are like today, when I don't really feel like that. Friends are precious today. Friends give spontaneous hugs that catch you off guard and make you have to rush off before you burst into tears in front of them and look like a wally (thank you for that hug yesterday Sara - it made my week!). Friends also tell you that your hair looks fab, even when you think you've made yourself look like a boy and wish you'd just gone to Jo & Cass to get it fixed. Friends are all over the place, my little world is saturated with them, and they're just about everywhere I look. There are friends within my family, there are friends within other people's families, there are very young friends, and very old friends (my oldest friend, in age, is Olga, and I think she must be about 85 now - though I haven't seen her for a while, and would love to get back in touch with her, because she was a right laugh when I worked with her at the uni!), there are friends that wave when they're on Lollipop duty, there are friends all over the world that send (((((hugs))))) over the magical interweb. There are friends who haven't been met yet - exciting!

Lots of friends.

Lovely.