Monday, 14 June 2010

A new relationship

Nothing much to write about this morning really. Life is just plodding on lovelily, as it usually does. Nice Monday morning, getting the kids ready for the start of a new week, and planning in my head what needs to be done around here (knowing full well that almost all of it will not get done - but who cares, we're having fun, and that's always more important than keeping a tidy house, yes?!).
This weekend the boys stayed over at my mum's. Usually when they come back, I'm evil to say it, but I feel like it would have been nice if they could have stayed over two nights - to give me chance to miss them, of course! I just have no problem at all with being away from them. I've never been one to fret over them when I've gone out for the evening, or when they've gone out for the day with a grandparent. I don't know whether it's done them any particular good, me being that way - they've all still had their clingy phases, and Matthew is in the middle of one now. Actually he's been in the middle of this clingy phase for almost a year now :D Maybe we're getting near the end of it. But anyway, clingy or not, I'm always perfectly happy for someone else to look after them, so that I can do my own thing. I'm incredibly selfish that way. But what can I do? Nothing. I'm happy to be selfish.
And it was nice again this weekend. I was just very lazy while they were with my mum. Usually I get on with some writing, or get some jobs done, but I just couldn't be bothered to do anything this time. I just read, and ate rubbish for most of Saturday. I actually wandered round the house a little bit, looking for something to entertain me! I might possible have been ... bored! A strange and new kind of feeling for me, one that I haven't felt for years. I didn't really like it. I don't plan on feeling bored again, ever.
But I did say that this weekend was nice! Well, it was. And what was nice about it - apart from watching the football with Kev, Noomski and Jessica (who didn't watch much, because she hasn't much interest in it, lol) in the pub - was that I was quite overwhelmed with tremendous joy and happiness when the boys came home on Sunday morning :D Matthew and James came right up and gave me the biggest, squeeziest hugs, and Matthew told me that he'd missed me. It was gorgeous. Thomas wasn't to be outdone, and he leapt onto my knee and wrapped himself around me, in his leggy way, like some kind of giant spider monkey, and squeezed me until I couldn't really breathe. Ace.

I think it's got something to do with the fact that I've stopped shouting at them so much. I've chilled out again, at last. Hope it's permanent. My poor kids, they do suffer the fallout of my bad moods quite a lot. People think I'm laid back and relaxed all the time. Ha ha! It's just a facade, and I've always saved the tyrannical telling offs for home, when the windows are closed so that the neighbours can't hear me screaming blue murder!! But I've been thinking that it's perhaps a bit much to expect absolutely perfect behaviour all the time from three energetic little boys who have so much that they need to say every minute of the day, and so much playing to do, and so many arguments about Playmobil to resolve amongst themselves. On Friday I realised just how GOOD my children really are. I've always suspected that they're quite good, but had it confirmed when we had one of Thomas's friends over for tea. And while he wasn't actually naughty - he surprised me by actually being very good, and having beautiful manners - his playing was like nothing my boys have experienced before (Thomas experiences it at school in the playground, of course - but never in our house). It was ALL about fighting. It was all about fighting, and not pulling punches! It was all about getting people to fall over and hurt themselves. It was all about laughing at someone else's discomfort or pain. I did just let them get on with it, because to a certain extent I could see that it was good for my boys to experience playing with someone much rougher than themselves - they do have a tendency to be a bit ... soft, shall we say?! So, I didn't like the way this particular little boy played, but I couldn't tell him off because he never actually did anything naughty. The fighting was consensual, and my boys lapped it up, enjoying the freedom to burn off all their energy, all laughing hysterically. Laughing hysterically, except when they were crying because it had gotten that bit too rough and someone got hurt - which happened several times. But next time - yes, I will allow there to be a next time, I must be crazy - I'm taking more control of the play. We're going to do some creative stuff when he comes again, and teach this little boy that fighting is not the only way to have fun. We did a little bit of drawing with him, and he was absolutely thrilled, so I'm hopeful that we'll be able to have a calmer time next time he's with us.

So. Nothing else to say today :) Have a good one.


  1. This def helped me a bit :) I am glad I am not the only one who screams lol. I do yell so much, so much in fact Lilyana threw up so got so nervous. Shame on me. But I am tired Linda, I know you know where I am coming from :0)

  2. No worries Jamie, just teach yourself how to not do it. It's really difficult at times, especially when you're tired and ill! But I've really felt so much better about myself this week, because I've been lightening up and laughing at things that I've been used to shouting about. And because I've been shouting much less, their behaviour has improved a lot. And Thomas keeps telling me that he's enjoying spending time with me, because I'm fun again! Hell, that's horrible to hear, but wonderful at the same time, lol.