Ooh, this looks good though...

Just been checking out some stuff on various MAs in Creative Writing and/or English.  I'm still submitting an application for the MA at Lancaster University.  I have some work that I can show them, as they require a folder of writing (with potential for publication! Err, maybe not!).  I'm fairly confident that what I show them will be up to scratch - I think I know what they're looking for.  And having worked in the English Department at that particularly marvellous university, processing MA applications, I can remember what I thought of the standard of some of the writing, because I read a lot of it ;)  I remember thinking that I could probably write as well as most of the applicants (why, oh why, did I not extend that idea a little bit and start writing then?)  I'll put that application together as soon as I can - I now have my Creative Writing tutor to ask for a reference.  And I have my tutor from Aberystwyth to write me an academic one.  So that's fine.  Good job I did this little CW course, else I'd have no-one to write a reference on my writing!

But I've just been looking at the Open University website, and they do an MA in English.  It's not creative writing, obviously, but it would still be incredibly useful to me.  And it's more affordable.  It would be a tremendous amount of work, but what enjoyable work it would be :)  There are an awful lot of books to read in the first year, but I'm up to that.  I can apply myself a lot better these days.  The fees are not available yet, and I can't find out what last year's were.  But you can pay in installments with the OU, which you can't do with an ordinary uni.  It's not just about the money.  If it were I wouldn't even bother applying to Lancaster, because it's so expensive.  But I'm thinking of the OU as a back up really, incase Lancaster don't think I'm good enough.  It's entirely possible (I know, I know - which crazy institution wouldn't want to offer ME a place??!  Sheesh!), because Lancaster's standards are so very high.  Both start in October anyway, so I'll know whether or not I have a place at Lancaster in plenty of time to register for the OU.  You don't have to wait to be offered a place at the OU, you just register :)

The little Creative Writing course finishes tomorrow evening, last one.  It's been fun.  I might do it again after Christmas.  It has a different tutor in January.  But lots of people do the course several times.  It probably should be a continuous longer course, and be called a Certificate or something.  But the Adult College split it up into these silly little courses for some daft financial reason.  The people on the course are lovely, and I'd like to see them some more.  I'm hopefully going to see some of them for an hour this evening - a few are trying to get a writers' group going, and are meeting fortnightly in a pub on a Monday evening.  I can't stay for the whole session, because I have to pick Thomas up from aikido.  But I will drop him off, nip over to the pub for fifty minutes or so, and then collect him when I'm done.  I might not be able to participate quite as fully as I would like, but it's better than nothing.  Being around other writers is even more inspiring and wonderful than I expected.  It's just lovely to listen to other people talking about their work, even if it's not something I would read.  Writers all have such a lot in common with the ways they work, and the problems they have to work through.  It's nice to be less alone in the whole thing for a change.  I think they've set up this little group because there isn't anything else like it in Lancaster.  Maybe there is, I don't know.  But that's the impression I got from the group.  I'll have to print something off to share tonight.  I might not share it this week, or perhaps I'll just give it to someone to take away.  But I've not been to this group before, so I might just have a coffee and listen to how it works.  I'd quite like to read something that someone else has written.

Well, I'll be off now.  Didn't get my morning off this morning, as Matthew was poorly.  Of course, he could have gone to nursery and been just fine.  But he seemed very off at brekkie, having been up since 5am with a touch of croup.  But I'll still have time after Thomas's aikido to plough through some of my faerie notes.  Better to do an hour or work than none at all, right?!


aikido |ˌīkēˈdō; īˈkēdō|nouna Japanese form of self-defense and martial art that uses locks, holds, throws, and the opponent's own movements.ORIGIN 1950s: from Japanese aikidō, literally ‘way of adaptingthe spirit,’ from ai ‘together, unify’ + ki ‘spirit’ + dō ‘way.’

My grandad (on the left, quite obviously!) in his aikido gear :)  My grandad Stephen is the Chief Instructor at Lancaster Aikikwai.  Thomas loves aikido, and I think he will stay with the club for a very long time.

Gathering my thoughts

So, I've had a few days off writing.  Haven't written a thing.  Can't even remember how to now.  Better get back to it, before I even forget how to spell simple words.

I've just been reading the hubs of some of the people I follow, and I must say that some of them can really make a person feel inadequate!  I do feel very stupid and ignorant sometimes.  I'm reading hubs that are very atheist-bashing, and I want to have my say and defend my position on God and the Universe, but I find it so very difficult to form my opinions into a cohesive argument.  I just don't enough scientific stuff.  My belief rests in science, and the reason for this is because it has always presented me with much more believable evidence than the Bible has.  But putting this in such a way that properly shows what I think is very difficult.  Now, I have no illusion that a hub on atheism could ever be left alone and not picked to bits and cause a huge debate.  It would attract lots of comments, and ever sentence that wasn't quite finished exquisitely would be ripped apart.  Every point that wasn't backed up with irrefutable evidence would be hammered down into dust.  Well, that's fine - you have to expect that when you attempt to discuss religion, whichever side you come down on.  It's a bit sad that people feel the need to attack the beliefs of others, but there we are - I've done it myself, but I suppose only in defence of my own position when it's been attacked first.  But what I don't want to happen is for readers to think that I'm completely stupid and that what I've written is so basic and flawed and naive that it's not worth commenting on.  So, for this reason I am not rushing into writing a hub on my beliefs - I am going to take my time over it, and maybe post something next year... or maybe the year after.

In other news, I am just finishing up my little creative writing course.  I have two weeks left, and a little homework to do for that.  I always leave it until the last minute - but the good thing about homework for a writing course is that it's absolutely fine to leave it until the last minute, or to even not do it at all!  You can say that you couldn't find your creativity this particular week, you can say that you had a severe mental block.  Marvellous.  Of course, I haven't done that - I've done my work.  I'm thinking that doing the MA would be very useful.  I'm going to apply for that as soon as I can get my personal statement together - this is going to be quite tricky, because I don't really know what to say about my creative writing.  It's just something I've been doing as a hobby.   Oh, I suppose there's the answer, right there: I've been doing it as a hobby, and now I'm ready to start taking it more seriously, taking myself and my writing more seriously.  Hmm.  Yes, I think there's something there.  I'll work on that later.

Right now, I have to pop off and write five hundred words on a ghost story for tomorrow's class.  I'm not sure what I'll write, but something will come to me, I'm sure.

Better go and do that then.  Ta-ra.

Day 9.

Cor, I posted three hubs today :D  I'm about to go and check on them, to see if they've been read by anyone.  I'm catching up a little.  I'm just one hub short now, and I'll write that in a minute.  It's very much fun, and I'm enjoying it thoroughly.  It would probably be very nice to be able to get paid a nice wage to just ramble on about whatever I fancy - but that'll never 'appen!

Today has gone very, very quickly.  We didn't achieve a great deal really, apart from me posting those hubs.  Me and Thomas and James went into town and enjoyed a bit of coffee/hot chocolate/blueberry juice/Belgian waffle/marshmallow twizzles/cheesy chip fest.  That was nice, to eat rubbish for the day.  We felt full to the brim with stodge, so enjoyed some nice vegetables and salmon for tea :)  This is all a bit boring for a reader eh?  Reading about what my family and I have eaten today?  What the hell am I on about?  Who cares?!  Actually, I can't really help it, I'm watching 'Masterchef' on the telly :oS

I've nothing else to say.  Oh yes, I have.  Did anyone see 'Catherine''s comment on my blog the other day, about Postgrad tuition fees?  She reckoned that the fees won't really go up for the MA that I'm wanting to take, so I'm going to look into that a bit more.  She has given me tremendous hope.  The only thing I was wondering about, to do with the MA, is if I end up also applying to do the BSc Midwifery, will they think I'm a little crackers and flaky and indecisive if they read on my application that I've just done an MA in something completely not related to their subject?  It's a problem, when you have two ambitions that you want to pursue - the question is, will I be able to achieve both, or will one of them have to die a death before I've even started?  Hmm.  We'll see.  I'll just see how things pan out.

Waffley, waffley, waffley, waffle.  Blogging when one has nothing much to say is a bit silly!

Lx.

Day 7. Monday mornings, lush.

I don't mean that I am a lush.  Obviously, I'm not.  But I do mean that Monday mornings are luscious.  Delicious, ambitious, splenditious.

lush 2 |ləʃ| |lʌʃ| informalnouna heavy drinker, esp. a habitual one.
luscious |ˈlə sh əs|adjective(of food or wine) having a pleasingly rich, sweet taste : a luscious and fragrant dessert wine.• richly verdant or opulent.

I haven't always liked Monday mornings.  But I think that I misunderstood them, poor Mondays.  I suppose it's easy for me to like Monday mornings, because of the nature of my 'job'.  Being an almost full-time stay-at-home parent is not the same as going out to work.  I can understand the Sunday evening feeling that a lot of people have, when they've had a beautiful weekend and face the thought of having to go back to work the next morning.  I'm tremendously lucky that I'm alone on Monday mornings, and I have only my own things to do.  I pack the kids off to nursery and school, and I have three hours to write.  Who could fail to love Monday mornings if they were me?

But it's the half term holiday now and I still have that zingy Monday morning feeling.  I'm looking forward to spending some time with my kiddies - I've missed James and Thomas while they've been at school.  Particularly James because it's been his first half term.  I'm used to missing Thomas, so that's easier.  Though actually, I'm surprised at how quickly I've got used to James being at school - the days pass so quickly that it only feels like he's away for a couple of hours.

Tt.  I have just dampened my mood a little though.  A thought about the MA in Creative Writing popped into my just now, and I'm sad because if the tuition fees take a steep rise I will not be able to do it.  I'm very angry, that the gap between rich and poor in education is being widened again.  It's starting to become like it was in centuries gone by.  Should have bloody well done the MA when I first thought about it two years ago, shouldn't I?!  I may be kicking myself over that.  Well I'm going to apply anyway, and think about funding if I'm lucky enough to receive an offer.  No point in ruining my Monday morning buzz over things that are beyond my control.

I'd better go.  The kids are grinding Play Doh into the carpet!  I only popped on because they were playing so nicely, and I thought it would be an ideal opportunity to get my Day 7 blog entry out of the way.  I didn't want to have to spend time on it this evening, because I've got three hubs to write if I'm to catch up on that side!  Aaaaaagh!  I've got ideas for one and a half, so I have to find one and a half more ideas in the next few hours.

Anyway, lovely Monday morning...

I took this last Monday morning :)

Get over it!

It's amazing, how a little time heals little hurts.  I'm not being flippant, I know it's not so great for big hurts, and takes a lot longer.  But little hurts are what I'm talking about, such as the little bit of grief you feel after you've experienced something wonderful.  I'm talking about our trip to Barbados of course.  When we got back everyone was a little down (a couple of us more than the rest, because they had some horrible news, which is not mine to tell - love to you both, thinking of you), as is only right and natural.   I was too.  But I don't get down about things like I used to.  Grief used to strike me after I'd been in a show when I was in my teens and early twenties.  My first show was Oklahoma!, when I was seventeen, and I was so tremendously sad for weeks after it was over, it had been such an intense experience for me.  I'd had a big part in the production, and had been to months of rehearsals, and had sung two solos and had danced and had learned lines!  It was fantastic, and then it was gone.  So it is a kind of grief.  But I'm much wiser these days, in my thirties (oh, I'm so old - NOT!).  No-one close to me has actually died, so I'd just better bloody well get over it and move on to the next good thing.  That's what I do now.  I don't spend too much time dwelling on what I'm not doing (i.e., not being in Barbados and being lazy), and concentrate instead on what I could be doing soon (i.e., anything I like, my destiny is my own to control).  What right have I to mope about, bemoaning the fact that I can't waste my life away on a beach in a tropical paradise, when there are people in the world who can't even afford the price of a cup of tea?  There's always someone worse off than me, and I try to remember that when I feel sorry for myself.  It works a treat, and I cheer up almost immediately.

So this morning I have enrolled myself on the teeny creative writing course that I mentioned last time, the evening course in November (when I say teeny creative writing course, I mean that the course only lasts a few weeks, not that we have to scribble in tiny writing in tiny notebooks - although that would be possible, I do have all sizes and shapes of stationery, because I have a stationery addiction, a bit like Stephen Fry's addiction for Apple hardware, only less expensive).  Well, almost enrolled.  The lady I spoke to couldn't find the course fee on her system, so she'll phone me back with that when she finds it.  But my name is on the list at least :)  Ooh.  I'm excited.  I do love a course.  It's a couple of years since I did one, and it's been a nice break, but I've missed those deadlines.

Another development is that my tutor from Aberystwyth did say that he would be happy to do a reference for me for the MA, but mentioned needing to look up my academic record.  When he said that I realised that he might not be the best person to provide a reference for me, because my academic record at Aberystwyth was not what you would call 'good'.  Hmm.  Perhaps I will provide three references.  Mind you, it will show that I've matured.  Because I will ask my human physiology tutor for a reference also, and that should be a glowing one - although he might be confused as to my change of direction, since he probably thought I would be doing the BSc in Midwifery by now.  Oh.  I foresee some problems with my references.  The trouble is, no-one in an academic field has read my writing, or assessed it in any way.  I shall ponder this a little more.  Or perhaps I will ring the tutor of the MA and ask his advice.  He must surely be understanding with people who have been out of education and work for a long time.  Mm, I will phone him in a minute.  That will be a good and productive thing to do.

The other thing I'm doing today is getting my First Chapter competition entries ready to send off.  I do have plenty of time, since the competition doesn't close until summer 2011.  But since both chapters are pretty much ready (not so the synopses, but I'll whip those up in a jiffy), I may as well get them in early, and save myself the hassle of leaving it until the last minute (as I usually do).  Time to pull my finger out (where does that expression come from?), and get my writing read.

Have you noticed the absence of exclamation marks in this entry today?  I've gone through and taken them out.  I have decided that I use them too often, feeling it necessary to use them in order to indicate the points at which I am making a joke.  But I can see that my jokinesses are pretty obvious even without '!', so I'm endeavouring to use them less.  Stephen Fry (my God of all things lovely) hardly uses them at all, and it's perfectly apparent when he is quipping.  (Ooh, I just inserted a '!' there, and had to hastily remove it.)

'Right lovely peeps, I'm off', the girl says,
And quick as a flash, off she sweeps.

That was a great holiday. Now, moving on...

Yes, it was.  Barbados was excellent.  But as with all things, if I didn't manage to blog about it at the time, it just doesn't get blogged.  Too late.  The moment's gone.  And all that.  I'll post some pictures tonight, but you'll all have seen them anyway, because you all know me on FB!  But it does seem the right and fitting thing to do for my blog, so I'll do that.

But I have made a decision while I've been sitting here in childfree peace this morning.  I was flitting about the internet, trying to find some kind of nice creative writing course to help me find my motivation - I always write more productively and inspirationally when I've got deadlines you see.  Deadlines are my friends.  (This morning I was reading Stephen Fry's book, and he quoted Douglas Adams on deadlines: 'I love deadlines, I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.')  So I had a look for some information on short courses at the local college.  There seem to be lots of them.  I think I will probably enrol on a five week evening course to start with, and see how that goes.  Then proceed from there.  I mean, is there really any point in sitting about, by myself, isolated and grumpy and clueless, trying to write a novel without any help from anyone else?  I just can't do it.  I need other people at least to gee me along.  I think I have the talent, but I need kicks up the bum.  Little courses really help with that.

Then I thought I'd just pop along to the Lancaster University website and see what they have on offer in the way of Creative Writing courses.  Well, the MA in Creative Writing leapt off the 'page' at me.  It actually punched me right in the nose, stung a bit and made my eyes water.  I guess I've always known that I should do it.  I looked at the information on the course a couple of years ago, but instantly disregarded it, because it was too expensive.  As you will imagine, it's even more expensive now, as fees increase every year.  Tt.  Should have done it two years ago!  But, ah, I didn't, so never mind.  I could do it next year.  I could.  It's a lot of money, and it's money that I just do not have.  But I could find it.  Surely?  Money can be found, when it's really needed, can't it?  I could borrow it.  I could borrow some of it from the Student Loans Company.  I could borrow some from Kev.  But then I wouldn't really like to do that because I'd probably end up just not paying him back, and that would be like stealing!  £3,000 per year is what's required.  I'll find it, I will.

Anyway, expense aside, I think the course would be perfect for me.  It's an online course (I wouldn't be able to do the campus taught one, because I have to be around for the kiddies just now), and it's all about critiquing each others' work and conferencing and the odd summer school, and just generally being part of a writing community.  I need that.  I've spent the past few months writing in a completely isolated kind of way, and it's really getting to me.  Darn it, I'm just lonely in my little writing bubble!  Actually, it's more of a writing cell - a plastic one, like the one that Magneto's locked in in X Men, all cubey, see-through and sharp-edged.  I do quite like it, if truth be told, so rather than come out of my cell, I would quite like to invite people in and have a little party.  Some cakes and tea, and maybe some scones with clotted cream. Anyone fancy it?  Ooh, I haven't had scones with clotted cream for a long time - maybe I'll have some now that I don't care what my tummy looks like in a bikini!

So, it's a decision to apply for the MA in Creative Writing (distance learning) at the Lancaster University.  That's what I've made, just a decision to apply.  That's excitement enough for one day.  The next decision will be how to approach the long wait that lies between posting the application and receiving notification of the outcome.  Should I tell myself that I almost certainly won't even get onto the course?  Or should I be more positive and assume that I will?  And if I assume that I will, should I also tell myself that getting funding will be no problem?  Positivity is usually what I insist on from myself.  But in this case, positivity might make things more painful if this new little seed of a dream gets damp over the winter and ends up being mouldy and no good for planting.  Hmm.  Well.  I guess I should be neither positive, nor negative.  I should just be pragmatic and get on with it.

Ooh, exciting!

Ahem, nope.  Not exciting, just nothing.  Just a wait-and-see thing.  Get a grip.

Ooh!

Stop it.

Sorry.  (Ooh!)


Oh, but I will definitely do the November evening course, of course.  That sounds like something useful.  The tutor phoned me before, and told me what she's planning to teach in those short ten hours.  She's going to look at some problem areas of writing, such as characterisation, realistic dialogue, POV (point of view), and things like that.  And she also wants to try a little poetry (urgh!), and maybe, if there's time, a little play with play writing.  It sounds good.  And I believe that people tend to do the course a few times, and build on what they learnt previously.  I don't know if I'll do that or perhaps enrol on a longer course in the new year.  We'll see.  Either way, it will give me some deadlines, which I love, and it will get me talking to some other writers.  The tutor said that the MA is brilliant (well, was brilliant twenty years ago when she did it), and that it would be very good for helping me to take myself more seriously as a writer.  That's just what I need.  Hey, and I wouldn't mind having a Masters either!

Right-o, friendies :)  Off to take a look at something I'm working on for a wee competition.  Have a nice weekend...