Friday, 16 July 2010

Memory loss. And also memory loss.

It's finally happened, and I have proof that I can never be as clever as I've always hoped to be. My brain is leaking. I've always thought that I had plenty of space in my brain, that I could just keep filling it up and that it wouldn't overflow, because I had never really put all that much into it. But it seems that I was wrong. I've filled it up right to the top, and now it's overflowing. Everything I've learned up until this point still seems to be there, but all of the new stuff is just skating around on the surface for a little while and then dropping off the edge pretty quickly. It's very disappointing, because I was expecting to reach genius level in about fifteen years time, but it looks like I'll be stuck at marginally-cleverer-than-some-people level for the rest of my life now. *Deep sigh* I was looking forward to learning a lot more words, some nice big juicy ones to put in my writing. But there's no point in trying to expand my vocabulary now, since I'll almost instantly forget what I've read.

Lately, I've been really stupid, quite a lot. I can make a mental note to myself to remember to take something with me when I leave the house, I can write it down on a list, I can put the item in question right by the front door so that I can't leave the house without seeing it, and I STILL forget it. And I forget it completely. I don't remember that I'm supposed to have it with me until I've reached the place where I needed it, and someone asks me for it. I am forgetting that I've already done things, so I'm doing them twice! I wrote a letter to a penpal, and sent it, and then the next day started writing the same letter again. And another example is that my friend Sara lent me her Twilight soundtrack CDs. I was all excited about listening to them, and then this little germ of a memory that was still clinging by its little finger to the edge of my brain caught my attention, and I remembered that I had downloaded these soundtracks a few weeks ago! With all of my obsessiveness about Twilight, how could I forget that I had already bought this music?

I blame Noomski for this early onset of senility. He's given me too much responsibility, by asking me to be his Best Man. Usually I thrive on organising things, I do love it. It makes me nervous, but it's a good kind of nervous, and it has adrenalin to go with it and make it more palatable. The organising of the Stag Do, and the composing of a speech for the wedding is all fine, and I am enjoying it hugely. But the thing that's tipping me over the edge and using up all the spare disc space in my head is the knowledge that I am required (by law I think) to act like a bloke for the weekend of the Stag! It's too much! I suddenly feel terribly feminine. Noomski has suggested that I wear a fake moustache - I think this will help.

I will go and make a new list now. I think, but I'm not sure, that I have a lot of things to remember to do today. But maybe I don't. I just don't know. I can't remember.

No comments:

Post a Comment