Saturday, 20 February 2010

Spaced out.

I really should have gone to bed ages ago, but isn't it amazing how something as unreal as a blog can suck you in and steal your time? Weird. I just popped on here to write a quick entry, and now an hour has gone by in which I have adjusted and readjusted the layout of my blog, only to put it back to the way it was originally, almost.

I am feeling weird today because of a lack of sleep last night. I probably didn't need to have as little sleep as I did, but when we wake in the night we don't always think clearly do we? Matthew seemed to have a sore tummy, and spent the night whimpering and wriggling. I stayed with him in the hopes that I might soothe him to sleep, but also to make sure that he didn't get too shouty and wake up the others. *Sighs* - if only I had made the decision to get him a couple of rich tea biscuits and a glass of milk, I needn't have spent the day feeling as though I was a tiny little version of me trapped inside the head of a big body that didn't quite work properly! I did think about getting him a little something to eat at about 1am, but then I had another thought, that it wasn't the right thing to do. Why did I think that? *Sighs again*

Sleeplessness is a very strange thing isn't it? After having a night of no sleep at all - it's happened to me several times over the past few years, for various reasons, not just kids - and the day after is just surreal. I spend the day in this kind of unreality, where I feel I'm almost on the verge of taking off into the air for a bit of a fly around and a look about. It feels like my body doesn't belong to me, that my eyes are set right back in my head and that if I could look behind me I would see my own brain. It's kind of interesting, and it doesn't really bother me to be that tired. Although I wouldn't want to feel this way too often! I wonder if I had another night of no sleep, would I start to hallucinate? It certainly seems possible the way my brain is behaving at the moment. I don't really fancy that though - the main reason I never took drugs
was because I didn't think I would be able to stand that feeling of being out of control and seeing things I didn't want to see. I like to be in control of the conscious parts of my mind really.

Anyway. I can't write about the actual real day that we had today as it feels like it happened about seven years ago :) I think it was nice and there was a little fresh air involved, but I can't really pin down the rest of the details!


This is a picture of the moon, taken from my living room window. I keep trying to get a really good picture of it when it's full, but I need a good telephoto lens for my camera. I think they're rather expensive though! I'll keep trying - one day I'll get that perfect shot :)

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